Homeless guy’s worship theology //

You know you are facing spiritual change and theology renewal when something or someone happened over your life or with your life that makes you rethink and relive a moment or happening. This is my understanding of how the Holy Spirit works in my life.

This is the story:

We have this homeless guy in our church/community that comes and worship every Sunday and he in all his homelessness smell, look, words and manners worships and praise God in the way he thinks/feels and understands as true. His name Andy.(fake name for now) Andy comes and sits in the back rows of the church when it starts. He keeps to himself and doesn’t really make any scene or disturbance when he is in the building. He greets you at the door and will remember your name. He looks the part of a homeless from the worn-out cloths to the smell to the hair to the everything. What is funny is he just goes on as if none sees him. Oh and do peoples face and reactions show me that they notice and experience him.

Before a service starts I like to hang out in the back of the church just for a few seconds. Its funny how people see and respond to homelessness.

Now this is where the service starts, the band will begin to sing and everyone joins by standing and so does Andy. Andy loves music; he has a great way of living himself into the music. He would normally, out of pure response, walk towards the music aka the front and worship there. Now Andy is not a shy guy or all for himself person when the music moves him to worship. He is really expressive and loud in his actions. He really expresses his singing in movement and action. If the words of the song say: “we bow down” Andy bows down. When the music says “and we lift up our hands” Andy lift up his hands, but more than that. He really sings and lives out the emotion and word in dance and reaction towards the music.


My repentance:

At first I had my eye on him, with the idea of “what the hell are you doing”. In my head I’ll say, “Get back in your seat”, “what are the people thinking now” …

I am part of the elders in the church so I started to think of the reactions and the “managing” of people after the service. Then to worsen the idea, I even started to think how do I control this? How do I get this guy in his seat and how do I explain to him no not that way but like this.

This is when my world crashed down.

A homeless guy smashed my worship theology. My idea of authentic worship and praise got destroyed. The still small voice of the Holy Spirit said gently to my soul. If you don’t understand or know his revelation don’t judge the worship.

First reaction: What?

Second reaction: Please repeat that?

Then it came again: “If you don’t understand or know his revelation don’t judge the worship.”

Then between the singing and the preacher taking over I decided to let it slide until I got the words right. Still thinking I got it wrong. When I got home I went to bed and had a bad night sleep. The next morning in my car to work (a hours drive), I started to ask God what He meant and to give me revelation and wisdom to understand.

This is how it went: well in my own words, not the way the Holy Spirit told it to me, He was way to gentle and loving.

“You need to change your idea/theology of worship to understand and worship Me in spirit and truth.” He continued, “The body express merely the way the spirit and truth in you is reacting to the song (worship) or revelation in you”.  “Stop thinking that you are doing it in authentic and humble way, don’t see it as a thing of doing but a thing of reaction/response.” The person as is only responds in true worship when he/she is doing it out of revelation. Like a supporter during a sports game. He/she reacts with the revelation of they are the best team, I want them to win, I believe they are the team to win, I trust they are giving there best … and he/she’s worship is by massive responds in support (cheering, singing and going wild in the stands when scoring) and buying support gear and you get the picture.

Is this the way we support or respond towards God in worship and praise? Do we go wild, jump and yell… when we are there in the stand (seat of the church)? Do we buy support gear and do we put up flags and banners, do we blow on our vuvuzellas and do we rejoice in His goal scoring (His miracles His wonders His greatness)?

My own answer to this was NO NO NO … reaction when I realized my crazy idea of worship. God I need to change. Not touched by words or ideas but changed. Touched and changed.

This is when I understood the revelation part of the Holy Spirits words to me. We will react to something when we understand or give value to something we see as worthy enough to receive it. Plainly put, we will bow down to the Queen of UK because we understand and give her the value of being honored. If we truly make the effort to understand/get to know/ learn … the value and Kingship/Lordship of God we will approach His throne differently. We would also jump up and down because we rejoice in our salvation. We would bow down and go as low as possible because we understand His righteousness. We will tell everyone about His greatness because we want to share our complete satisfaction in Him. We will irritate our friends, family and people with the things He has done and is doing. Like any guy so in love with his girl/car/sport … can’t stop seeking things about it and cant stop sharing his new understanding or gathered information. This guy always brings it to the party, the work … When he stops talking about it, it’s when he lost the girl, crashes the car or his team lost.

That’s the great thing, God never leaves us, He never crashes down on us, stops working or He will never loose. He stays the same, just as the first time you met Him, He is just that and more. Like the revelation we got about his greatness when Louie Giglio shared his universe story (indescribable), like the Barbarian Way talk Erwin McManus gave to Willow Church, like…. we all have moments in time we met God through a revelation and I can truly say it 99% of the time breaks out into song of worship and praise. We as human have the natural urge to respond in worship to something we perceive as greater than us or the moment of it. When a new truth is grasped it is all we want to talk about (worship) and all we want to know more about. Like I downloaded stars and galaxies and read information like a mad man after I heard Louie Giglio’s talk for the first time.

Where is this going, well the Spirit then convicted me … you need revelation or refreshing up of old ones for my worship to be real and in spirit and truth. This drove me back to the only place I knew I could do this. My secret place, my behind closed door my place of alone time with God.  I started to unpack, dust off and clean out. I went back on my knees the real way and asked for new and fresh revelations. I read my bible with new eyes and new understanding. … Worship or my idea of it is changing and I get use to the crowd (church), as I get to know the team I’m supporting (God in Trinity) and as I get excited when He scores.

My only problem concern is that people walk into church begin to sing and then sit and listen to a preacher. When we receive a revelation we don’t have time to respond to it and we need to do it in the car on our way home. Can we change the way we do church? Lets first hear form God and lets first receive revelation and get excited about the word we get then lets respond to it with great worship and rejoice, for we do it out of response to greatness. Maybe I’m in wrong so please correct me. I lacked in giving scripture, this is purely how I felt like saying it. Will search for scripture if you are unsure of my approach. I just have a feeling, understanding that it makes sense.

What do you think?


One day … can’t wait …

Guys i’m back. Starting to get my blog reader friendly again. Got married and learned a lot about grace and forgiveness so … here comes more to ponder on and see …


be blessedfriends

Ek sukkel om asem te haal
Ek sukkel om lig te sien
Ek sukkel om die een tree voor die ander te sit
Ek sukkel om my hart te voel
Ek sukkel om te dink

My hart het my asem gesteel
My hart het lig uitgedoof
My hart het my tree getel
My hart het my gevoel laat vaar
My hart het my brain gedief

My hart is in n asblik oppad na die ashoop

why i hate church

So about a year ago i worked at a church, love the people and hated the work. I specialize in advertising and i wanted to help the church to develop their branding and make the most of the way they spread the gospel. I wanted to help the church get into gear with the way it is done outside the church. Why talk to people everyday in the wrong way. I wanted to increase the way they communicated to the word. They didn’t even listen, it was like trying to light a candle in a storm. Impossible. I really wanted to help and “offer” all my skill to help them, that was the reason they employed me.

I then got back into the game and went into advertising “in the world”, again. Now this is where the story really gets to the core of my hatred towards the church. I’m a social guy made great friend in the church and got to really love some of them. This just to realize that you get into a click or groupie kind of vibe and when you move out you are as good as dead. They just forget who you are and the just never seem to understand. I’ve tried so hard to keep contact and to be real but they repeatedly shot me in the back! I would just never be on their minds to contact me or to want to be with me. I even called them best friends some of them. This is short and sweet … but the sum of it. Church is a warm and fuzzy place if you are part of their dream but if not, you are like leper not welcome.

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I wish that I could fly

Far away lost in the sky

I wish that I could be

Someone other than me

Make me a great leader

That my sword defines me as believer

Let my words take people to a place

Where only Your name resounds with grace

Let my quest for wisdom

Be as lust in a new division

Break my heart apart

For the new birth that You will start

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my hart is in jou asblik

Ek het my hart vir jou geleen. Jy het alle reg gehaad om my lewe te steel. Daar was bloed in my wat jou laat klop het. Jy het gekies. Jy het gekies om my oop-hart opereasie te gee. Jy het net ingeduik, al die goeie bloed gebruik. Jy het nie die wond toe gemaak nie. Jy het net dit gelos. Ek het my hart vir jou geoffer. Ek het jou geluk bo myne gesit. Jou lewe bo myne prys gegee. Ek het jou opgetel en jou gedra, al kon ek nie. Ek het jou so lief gehaad dat ek n hartoorplanting nodig het. Ek het alle wil om dit weer te doen verloor. Jy het die laaste keer my hart gesien. Daar is nou n klip in my hart. n Klip wat al die are verstop. Dit verhoed normale bloed vloei. Ek kan nie my hart meer vir ander gee. Ek kan nie meer die bloed laat vloei. Jy het my hart gesteel. Jy het dit verkoop vir niks en nou het ek niks. Ek het nie n hart vir jou en ook nie n hart om lief te he.

Ek kan nie meer n hart kry nie, die swartmark is al opsie. Ek bly lewe, want die Here is bo als my hart herstel. Hy het my vertel hoe om my hart te bewaar. Hy het my geleer hoe om jou hart te laat klop sonder om my hart te verniel. Hy het gevra dat ek nie net my hart moet gee nie maar my lewe. My lewe is joune. Die Here aleen weet jy dra waarde, weens my lewe nie meer myne is nie maar Christus sin. Jy skuld hom als. Jou hart jou als.

Het jy al ooit …

Het jy al ooit so gesmag na God dat jou hele dag, dae en weke sommeer n gemors is? Het jy al so by jou bed gekniel en wag dat wanneer jy jou oë oop maak die son opkom. Het jy al so gesmag na vrede en hoop en liefde, dat jy niks meer het in jou om te wees nie. Het jy al gelê en wag op Sy stem om net enige iets te hoor dat jy als en almal vergeet. Het jy al so ernstig geword oor Hom dat jy liewers stil bly want jy weet dat daar niks is wat jy kan sê om Hom te eer nie. Het jy al op n plek gekom en dit is so mooi dat jy niks kan sê net op jou knee val en stil wees? Het jy al jouself soos kanker beleef in jou bene en gehoop/smag na n die Gees om soos ghemo-terapie dit uit jou uit te brand. So gesmag na genesing dat jy nie omgee hoe seer dit gaan wees of  hoe baie dit kos nie jy net dit kan kry?

Dis tyd om real the word, tyd om Hom bo als te soek. Soek Sy liefde en Sy geregtigheid als in n gesonde vrees vir Hom. Vrees Hom want Hy is God.

Ek weet nie van jou nie, maar al wat ek kan vertel is dat Hy nooit gesê het dat dit gaan maklik wees om Hom te volg of dien nie. Ek wil amper so ver gaan dat as dit vir jou as vlees lekker is en as jy dit maklik vind om dit te doen dat jy dalk jou opregtheid en jou verstaan van wie God is ondersoek. In Johannes waarsku Jesus ons: ” You will have trouble in this life, but keep heart, I have overcome thé world.”

Dit is nie dat Hy jou lewe wil crap maak nie, dink net dat as jy regtig opreg lewe en als in jou Sy wil volg dat die wêreld jou gaan begin haat en mense teen jou draai en dinge nie altyd so great gaan wees nie. Maar in dit hou moed en hou jou oë op Hom. Ek dink sommeer nou aan Paulus. Amazing waardeer Hy is net omdat Hy in God glo en Hy nie bereid wat om terug te staan vir Sy Glorie nie. Tog het die Here hom gebruik op n massive manier om Sy konigkryk te bou. Kyk maar net na jou nuwe testament en wie het die meeste waarheid in daai boek geskryf.

Asb skryf terug …

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Barefoot in His presence, for we are on Holy Ground!

i painted you a picture

but the colors where all wrong

monochrome where never Your idea


but all i could see


You shaded it with patience

but i never to could see

that the picture i made


was a portrait of me


You saturate my strokes

as i create my story

never to understand


that this portrait was not Your idea


the picture was already created

stained in RED.